Born and raised in Prince Georges County, Maryland – one of the wealthiest Black counties in the U.S., I was allowed to explore my identity as a Black lesbian within the confines of (relative) safety. Being raised with other people of color gave my young self the kind of representation that allows for infinite potential. The same, however, cannot be said for raising carefree Black children in a newly gentrified city below the Mason-Dixon Line . My son’s experience with racism aimed directly towards him without shame started in preschool. I’ve spent the last seven years becoming intimately aware of the need for social equity and education in not only my children’s everyday life but also their peers.
Basketball played throughout high school and college taught me the role of collaboration and instilled in me passion, strength, dedication, and endurance. A car accident during my sophomore year quite literally signed me up for a “crash” course in what it meant to live these values. Hospitalized, I was informed that running and playing basketball, activities that kept me sane and gave me purpose, would have to be relegated for six to eight months while I relearned simple motor functions, no longer able to play. Overcoming a dislocated hip, broken wrist, sprained ankle, and a host of other injuries required a physical investment. Learning about myself proved to be a more daunting task that required both my mind and my body to be on the same page. I learned more about myself in the four months it took me to get back to playing, cast and all, than ever before.
If pressed, I’d say I subscribe to a more spiritual approach to life, though not for the lack of exposure to religion. I was enrolled in an Episcopal middle school and two different high schools (Catholic and Baptist) before finally given the opportunity to make my own decisions. Conformity to conservative interpretation of religious text amongst teachers and religious leaders lead to harassment and threats of suspension in high school. As my sexuality proved to be a source of contention and a means to “teaching me” the “true meaning” of religion. In fact, I’d say being an out and proud lesbian in a strict Southern Baptist high school did not make for a fun time – an understatement of the century. However, I can acknowledge that that experience has made me resilient, and comfortable with who I am and what I stand for. To that end, I want my children to be able to explore who they are without acts of racism plaguing their every move, much like organized religion did to me.
Being an out and proud lesbian in a strict Southern Baptist high school did not make for a fun time. However, I can acknowledge that that experience has made me resilient, and comfortable with who I am and what I stand for. To that end, I want my children to be able to explore who they are without acts of racism plaguing their every move, much like organized religion did to me.
I am a fierce planner, researching and creating itineraries for vacations, utilizing numerous mediums to keep myself, and my family, organized and on top of things. Lesser known to people outside of my family is that I can be spontaneous. I jumped at the opportunity to randomly win a wedding – my wedding – that had to occur in less than a month. I just can’t help the level of satisfaction from the smiles on their faces when we spontaneously decide to go camping, day trips to my happy place – the beach, or exploring well-kept North Carolina secrets. I know that it’s necessary to balance these traits, something my wife and children help with, in order to not only meet my needs but those of my family.